


Up Top Down Low--Wait Spock Where'd You Go?

by bluerosele



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Accidental mind meld, Cheesy, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, High fives are intense., Kirk's an idiot, Loose mind meld Vulcan kiss mechanics, M/M, Obnoxiously cheesy, Spock is Emotionally Compromised, Spock use your words buddy, Vulcan Kisses, a broken and cracked fic, high fives are., just crack, lets just say Spock is literally pinning so hard his hand meld powers are compromised, mental high fives show all the signs, so much crack, stupid fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerosele/pseuds/bluerosele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock is a private individual. Spock does not discuss things. Spock does not need to divulge in the tendencies of intimacies of Vulcans. Which is why Kirk just doesn't get why high fives are like third base.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up Top Down Low--Wait Spock Where'd You Go?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cat Schultzbatsky's Fault](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cat+Schultzbatsky%27s+Fault), [20RavenousTemptress15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/20RavenousTemptress15/gifts).



> I'm sorry.

Spock was making his way towards the recreational floor to make himself a celebratory tea as reward for the successful mission. Missions in which violence isn't resorted to, missions where the Captain is allowed to utilize the impressive brain in his possession, the missions that end with compromise and a saved planet, those are the ones of success.

He's halfway to the hall when Captain Kirk rounds the opposite corner, practically jumping--no doubt residual adrenaline from the peaceful accomplishment. Though he may deny it, Kirk is a captain of dignity and relaxed command, and dislikes the pragmatic sacrifices a man in his position must make. However, Spock can tell the lack of the compromising having a turn for the worst and taking defensive measures must have Kirk antsy for an oncoming assault though there be none. Spock tries to stifle a smile to himself.

"Hey! Mr. Spock!" Kirk practically shouts, despite his approaching proximity. "Job well done if I do say so myself. And yourself of course. Up top, man!"

Spock pauses and tilts his head to the side analyzing the phrase he has yet to hear from the Captain's extensive repertoire.

"Up top? Is that a Terran expression for victory?" Kirk rolls his eyes and almost hops across the extra space between them.

"No--you've never? Fine, I should've expected. Okay it's like this you see--" Kirk raises his hand, with an expectant expression. Spock, always one to learn, reflects the movement.

The Vulcan people speak in silent gestures often, and is surprised to see an apparent similarity between two cultures with such disparity.

Just as he suspects the gesture to remain as it is, a salute of some sort, Kirk suddenly slams his hand against Spock's holding on in an upward handshake.

Spock is consumed by everything he's inhibited of his lesser self, consumed by Kirk, and he crumbles.

He wrenches his hand away immediately, unintentionally shoving Kirk away from him, from the feelings he can't allow himself to recognize or worst of all, expose. He can only hope the momentary startling didn't allow for transference of his processing to Kirk.

Based on Kirk's eyes, surprised as they may be, they show a small sign of realization, the eyes he has when he knows there's more to a plan than what is presented, Spock knows Kirk may not fully yet comprehend what he's just seen, but Kirk is clever and will.

"I'm sorry I--" Spock doesn't have the need for tea anymore, and turns away as composed as he can make himself. "I must be going, I've neglected proper meditation practice and am not feeling myself." Though he can't see him he can feel the scrutiny in Kirk's eyes, that pierce through a problem with the electric blue they are.

"Wait, Spock, I hope I didn't--" but Spock has hastened his controlled and stiff movements to reach his corridor, blocking out Kirk's voice, blocking out Kirk's eyes, and blocking out what will certainly end their friendship.

* * *

 

Spock tries to shut down, Spock tries to direct himself in his meditation, but he hadn't been lying when he said he'd conserved time for more pressing matters, managing Starfleet and the many capacities of the universe one of them. 

The other was on this very ship, discovering, as he always does somehow, what happened when Kirk offered a common show of approval. 

Spock's mother once said _A Vulcan's hand is their heart, they keep so much in, but such a simple touch can show all of their world._ _  
_

What was becoming Spock's world, his home and his family his heart, was falling just as his own planet had, and he knew his resignation and reassignment from Starfleet was within the matter of time it would take Kirk to understand. Spock breathes in and out, numbs himself and dissociates from the pull of emotion building dangerously in his mind. 

There's a knock, distinctive in its command but somehow more timid. He's figured it out then. Kirk is a genius, though Spock will never tell him, and certainly a good analytical strategist.

Spock braces into himself and for himself, knowing already what to expect on the other side of that door. He rises and let's the barrier slide open which reveals Kirk leaning against the frame his eyes intensifying to their "fixing the situation" setting. 

"Spock, I--"

"I understand the situation on all accounts, Captain. My current," Spock hesitates " _view_ of you is unacceptable in our positions and I will follow protocol for transfer immedia--"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on what's this about transfering?" Kirk looks panicked and Spock is thrown of to be able to understand why. "Who's going to keep this ship from going to shit but you?" Kirk smiles and despite himself Spock can't help but smile a little back. it quickly falls once he reminds himself no matter Kirk's general aptitude for mercy Spock cannot allow him to compromise his Captain's position for personal reasons.

Before he can articulate these rationalities to the Captain, Kirk crosses his arms in an almost embarrassed and shamed stance. "I did some research on Vulcan biology--Bones helped me out after he hit me on the back of the head with the medical book when I told him what happened." Kirk rubs the back of his head where the book must have attacked. "Anyway I--I want to apologize. I didn't know how sensitive Vulcan's hands were. Some intergalactic space cadet I am huh?" He gives a self deprecating laugh and finally looks Spock in the eyes. "It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortsble in any way, and I am truly sorry for invading in your privacy." 

Kirk's eyes really must be some advanced biomechical prototype of a stun phaser, because Spock is beyond being unable to process and can only shake his head. Which is unfortunate because when Spock isn't able to speak there's no one to stop Kirk from speaking which usually digresses into "If I've breached your comfort zone I absolutely understand your desire to transfer. But you are the best second in command a Captain could hope for and I hope I haven't jeopardized you're position by me being--well me being an unknowing asshole." 

This won't do at all, Kirk believing himself to be the one with misconduct and Spock finally finds the ability to say, "Captain, it's not you its me." 

Kirk gapes, and is suddenly laughing with wide teeth and bending over. Spock jumps. "Captain, I do not believe this is a laughing matter." 

"Fuck, no I'm sorry it's not you I," Kirk gasps a bit through his laughs. "You just did the commanders equivalent of a breakup cliche." 

As much as Kirk is learning about the intricacies of Vulcan anatomy, he deserves a Kirk translation almanac. 

"But, Captain--"

"Oh my God stop with the Captain thing we're not on a mission right now," Kirk smiles and Spock is instantly soothed. This is why he needs to go. 

"I don't think you understand the severity of the case, I am not fit for the job when I have--" Spock isn't sure how to characterize his interest in Kirk but it's deep and relentless and he has to go or he'll jeapordize a mission, or worst of all _Jim_ and

"Spock," the endless outcomes Spock predicts stop at the soft tone of Kirk's voice.  "Oh, Spock." Kirk reaches out but sharply pulls away again. "I would. I learned about some other stuff too. From the Vulcan anatomical encyclopedia--real fun read by the way not dry in the least--and I'd like to try something. We've actually done it before. Not you, but other you, older you its confusing. Anyway, if it's alright with you," Kirk taps his own temple.

The part of Spock, the human part he supposes, is instantly pulled by the request, but he holds back against himself firm. "Kirk, what you've seen, I should be the one apologizing I tried to control the--I don't want you to have to see again--" 

"Hey," Kirk apprehensively raises his hand towards Spock. "I'm not asking to see, I'm asking for _you_ to see." 

Spock should not follow through with this, not again, not with only a fraction of his self being revealed but his entirety. But Kirk is asking and he trusts him, with everything he has and knows about himself and what their partnership is.

He raises his hand, and Kirk gently wraps his fingers around his wrist to place Spock's fingertips against Kirk's temple.

It's an explosion. 

An explosion of light and depth, the density of the space they live in and the space they are together. Stars pattern them to an interconnected entity that's both themselves and beyond them. Spock breathes in Kirk as Kirk breaths out to Spock and there is synced heartbeats and knowledge of what the other has always felt but never shown. They drown in each other and hears a distant " _I've always loved you too_ ". 

They somehow wake up, after so long, and Spock catches Kirk as he sways against him. He's shaking and laughing and crying or maybe that's Spock he isn't sure isn't sure of anything anymore other than _this_. 

"Sorry I," Kirk's voice is shaky but happy. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that. My brains a bit scrambled." 

Spock kisses his forehead and Kirk holds on tighter. "It's the greatest I've ever known." 

Kirk scoffs, "Well, that's just sad--" Spock ends that with a kiss to Kirk's fingers. Kirk's face is something Spock will never allow himself to forget.

"GET A ROOM," shouts the omnipresent exasperated doctoral voice, the owner saunetting down the hallway which Spock is all too aware he's still standing out in the door frame.

"Technically we are in position of a room Dr.McCoy--" Spock is interrupted by Kirk spinning him around pulling him backwards into his room. 

"Doctor's orders," Kirk winks and let's the door close behind them. "Time for bed rest."


End file.
